...this year there's a bunch of evil hippies who don't want Reagan to be president. So to disrupt the election, they're going to inject the candy with heroin. Turn kids into addicts.
If I remember correctly, this was an actual rumor that made the rounds back in 1980. Unfortunately, the liberal media covered up the devastating consequences of this plot. Back then we didn't have fair and balanced media outlets like Fox News that were willing to report on the radical left's attempts to destroy our country from within.
I highly recommend you adhere to my five updated Halloween safety tips so that you don't become a victim of whatever nefarious schemes the evil hippies have planned this Halloween in order to prevent a McCain presidency.